She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
