just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize