Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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