I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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