Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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