Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
