yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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