I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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