i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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