i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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