Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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