Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
