Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
