i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
