I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
