is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
