they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize