So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
