why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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