...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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