Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
