why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
