If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
