He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
