'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
All I want is dick and wine.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
