It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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