So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
ttyl tear gas
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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