Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
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