I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
