Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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