So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
