tell your sister to shave her snatch
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
be right there i have to get my cape
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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