i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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