i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Shitshow foam night was such a success
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
