Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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