You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
