I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
