Well douche your snatch and let's go!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
