I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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