I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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