We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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