She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
