somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
