Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
