Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
