I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize