sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
