Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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