Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
