If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
