Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
