Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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