Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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