Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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