Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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