My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
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I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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