No awkward lesbian experiences without me
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
