just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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