I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
