just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
