'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
