Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I bet he comes in French.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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